My life with my husband and three children was becoming too much for me. With my oldest son, Mark, having autism and my husband being a total jerk, I had fallen into a grave depression. My husband and I talked very seriously about putting Mark in a residential school for the disabled and had been given the financial support of a very wonderful cousin to do so. The only problem was the basic action of what it meant to do this. We were virtually agreeing to allow another entity to complete raising our child and giving him a structured home.

I couldn’t have felt more guilty for our thoughts and felt utterly useless as a mother. My depression only got worse and my life with my husband plummeted into a major issue. He kept doing things that made me so upset. For example, he knew I was not happy with the Orthodox church and yet I found out that he took all three of my children there without my knowledge and got them baptized. How did I find out you ask? Well, I was going through Mark’s dresser drawers looking for something and found 3 envelopes. Each envelope had the name of each of my children on it. And inside each envelope was a lock of their hair.

Why was there hair in these envelopes? Well, that’s what I wanted to know. So, I asked my husband when he got home from work. He told me they had cut their hair in order for them to be baptized. “WHAT????” I asked him why they did that. He said he didn’t know. And when I asked him if he thought to ask them…he said no. I was livid. I could not believe someone, anyone, would be that stupid to not ask why? We both read the same Bible. It’s not like it’s mentioned anywhere in the New Testament to cut hair in a ceremony of baptism.

Well, it was February of 2002 and I decided right then and there I wanted a divorce from the idiot who called himself a man. He was a spineless jellyfish as far as I could tell. Do you know what he said when I told him I wanted divorce? He said, “Okay.” I rolled my eyes and moved my stuff to the basement bedroom. He didn’t even care. So I proceeded onto telling my longtime friend, I’ll call her Bella, what had happened. She quickly let me know that me and the kids could come and live with her until I sorted everything out.

Because my husband and I had already scheduled Mark to enter the School for the disabled, we decided it would be less stressful for him if he stayed with my husband until the May admission date. So that’s what happened, but I still had him a lot just because I was available after school and my husband…okay, let’s give him a name…how about “Jelly”? My husband, Jelly, was still working.

Everything seemed amicable…at first. I was living with Bella after she helped me move all my stuff out of the house. Then the kids David and Kathy moved into the house with us as well.

I should insert here that before I ever moved out of my house I had taken all three kids to see my mother, 75 miles away, to let her know what had happened after I told Jelly I wanted a divorce. I had driven 11/2 hours when she greeted me in the driveway. She knew I was coming only because Jelly called her and warned her. She was very mad at me and told me to go home. I was never so disappointed. She didn’t support me or care that I was having so many problems. She just told me to work it out. Although divorced herself, she didn’t believe in it and felt that once you get married you should stay married.

Back to living with Bella…as I said it had all started out okay with my soon to be ex-husband after moving out, but there were problems coming up, including living outside the kid’s school district. I had to do something. I told Bella that I had to move into an apartment, or something, but I had no job. What could I do???

In the meantime, Mark was still attending elementary school, but would soon be leaving for “The School.” I wasn’t looking forward to that at all. It was my worst nightmare. But it was happening, and faster than I could keep up with.

Until next time, God bless you.

Nancy